How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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