running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
