you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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