I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize