Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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