I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
