i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
