it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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