So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
