I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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