it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
