I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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