Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize