You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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