Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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