No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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