i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
