those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
