All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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