So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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