moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
