No awkward lesbian experiences without me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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