so explain again why im purple
no
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
