How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
