i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
