Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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