Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
