So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
