Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Text me some of your sweat
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
