He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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