He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Shame is for Republicans.
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