yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
