What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
