This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize