About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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