DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
