fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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