where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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