I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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