I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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