I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can text with my tongue
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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