What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
