her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
