Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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