Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
