have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
