That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
