This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
