Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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