I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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