He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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