we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
