the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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