I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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