do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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