when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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