The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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