she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
