This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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