I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
