wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize