it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
