I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize