I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
