highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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